NICU Dad's corner
A page dedicated to the Dads, because they matter too.
Although they are often overlooked, men also struggle with NICU journeys. Being in NICU with your child can bring up so many emotions, alongside the societal pressure to be strong and supportive for you partner and baby. Whilst there is nothing wrong with supporting your partner and being involved with your baby's care, it is not be the case that they HAVE to be strong and not have any negative feelings about being in NICU, Dad's are allowed to feel all of the same feelings that Mum's do in the NICU. Everyone is affected in their own way.
"Dear Fellow dads.
This isn’t the start of 'being a Dad' that you had expected. It’s not the start you had hoped for or perhaps even knew was possible.
I lived this experience. My little boy Greyson was born at 24+2 weeks gestation last year, at which point I knew very little about neonatal units or prematurity. The birth that started a long lourney in hospital, an experience that tested my inner strength.
I want to tell you that this is like no other experience in life and that all of your feelings, confusion and emotions are rational. I also want you to know that, as hard as it may be, there are things you can do to help yourself and your family through it.
You won’t feel in control during your NICU stay. There's a good chance that you might not deal with everything very well, and you more than likely feel like you have no choice but to be strong for your family, your partner, your baby in hospital and your other children.
But the truth is that it's going to be extremely hard, so please be kind to yourself. And reach out to others if you are struggling.
Seeing your baby wired up to machines, in an incubator and covered in tubes, having doctors come in daily. Hoping for good updates can be an emotional rollercoaster, seeing how small and fragile they look and being told they may not survive, may have long term illnesses, all of it can be very overwhelming. The whole journey is an exhausting one physically, but more emotionally. It’s emotionally draining. It’s heart-breaking having to go home each night without your baby, leaving your partner and baby at the hospital, I had to drive home from hospital at the end of each long hard day to go and be with my other two boys, and the whole situation can be hard on them emotionally and physically too.
My advice is this: don’t be afraid to ask for help, this is the most testing of times, and your emotions will fluctuate wildly. It’s not your fault.
There are going to be tough days, many of them. Some tougher than others.
It’s so far from from you expect to experience having a child, my partner uneventfully gave birth to my second born child at home, whether you've had babies uneventfully before, or this is your first child, or you've had previous babies who have had a NICU admission... whether you experience having a premature baby or your baby needing to be admitted to NICU at full term, it can be very scary and having support from family and friends helped us through this.
If there is anything that having an extremely premature baby has taught me, it is that life is crazy and unpredictable, you should cherish every moment and always know you are not alone.
Don't suffer in silence, you don't HAVE to stay strong.
Kindest regards
Alex"
